Africa Today podcasts. Image source, AFP. Fred Itua. Men should not be seen as spending machines, we also want to be pampered". Image source, SMA. Men could create and download their own membership card to the Stingy Men Association. The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. View original tweet on Twitter. Dating in Nigeria can be an expensive business. Getty Images. Usually, their intention of dating is for their own sexual benefit.
But she is not bound by the unspoken rules. Ann Uramu. I always define my values at the beginning of a relationship and I don't date people who don't have the same understanding with me". You may also be interested in:. Related Topics. In this context, love becomes a tool for migration control and for protecting the position of married women as seen by these authorities.
In a recent article I argue that this dichotomy is simplistic and misleading. I question the idea that love is by default good for women, especially when love is understood as unrelated to interest. The article is based on ethnographic fieldwork I did over the course of a year in the Netherlands, Greece and Ghana on the marriages of West African migrants with European women. The fieldwork included interviews with couples, lawyers and immigration officers.
Evidence suggests they are not. As my research shows, marriages between African and European nationals are motivated both by interest papers, money and feelings love, care, sexual enjoyment. The entanglement of romantic feelings with material gains does not make these marriages different from the ones of non-migrant couples. On the contrary, I argue that they are very similar. Think, for example, of couples who formalised their relationship for reasons such as tax purposes, inheritance and social security.
Their hopes and dreams are limited as soon as they start their new lives, they are often cut off from family and friends, and they are highly likely to face domestic and sexual violence.
It is a gross violation of their fundamental human rights, and there are absolutely no circumstances under which it should be acceptable. The government of Nigeria must do more to combat this practice, to protect girls and to enable them to live their lives freely, as equals to boys and men.
Learn more about our work to end child marriage. We strive to enable girls to avoid early and forced marriage, stay in school and benefit from a quality education.
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