Sometimes you sacrifice, sometimes you compromise. Sometimes you let go and sometimes you fight. Some sacrifices are worth making, and some are not. You probably have an inkling of which ones are which, but the following lists should help clear up any confusion. You might be used to spending a lot of your free time alone pursuing your own goals.
But being in a relationship will require spending time together to connect and grow closer. And that will mean giving up some of that alone time to be more present for your partner. How you spend your time shows what you value more. No one really needs to be right all the time, anyway.
And since perfectionism is the mother of procrastination i. Some gestures of love will involve money — like buying gifts, surprising your partner with a favorite meal, and possibly even buying a ring. You are no longer the center of even your own universe. Focus on those that are not compatible with a healthy relationship — like bottling up your emotions or bolting at the first sign of conflict.
Are you happy or are you getting resentful? Will your relationship last or is it destined to fall apart? These are all questions you can be wondering about if you're not sure whether you are making the appropriate compromises for your relationship or whether you're sacrificing too much.
The truth is, there is a clear line between compromise and sacrifice, but sometimes, it's a really thin line, and when you're in the thick of a relationship, you can't really see it. Unfortunately, if you're already starting to feel a bit uncomfortable with your relationship and where it's going, it's even more necessary to make sure you are staying in healthy territory.
One partner getting upset and feeling unheard is a surefire way for things to end quickly. So, how can you know? Well, there are actually three main differences between compromise and sacrifice. By examining this list, you'll better be able to discern whether your relationship is the right, healthy one for you.
The very word "compromise" inspires a visual image of two people, coming from two different perspectives, and finding a mutual solution to a problem.
In fact, the Oxford English Dictionary defines compromise as "an agreement or settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.
In a relationship, compromise usually means that the two of you have come to some sort of impasse that you're not sure how to cross, and the best way to resolve it is by the two of you making some shifts in your behavior or desires to make your relationship flow again.
In contrast, sacrifice is often one-sided. Sacrifice mostly means that one person is doing the heavy lifting, giving up things that are important to them or adjusting their values time and time again.
With a compromise, two people will be trying to figure something out. Establish this and know when you need to make yourself the priority over your relationship. Sacrifice is about getting out of the short term to focus on the long term. And quite honestly I am guilty of sometimes being too tired to want to focus on what I can do to make my relationship better. But those are the moments when it is most important to do just that because those are the moments that count.
It is really easy to have a great relationship when everything is going well and things are easy. It is much more difficult to do this when you are feeling burnt out or upset.
If we give when we feel we have very little to give it sends the message that at the end of the day our relationship is more important than the clothes on the floor, the tv shows you are watching or the to-do list waiting to get done. Because it is and it always will be. What are you going to sacrifice this weekend to ensure you are making your relationship as healthy and happy as it deserves to be?
Useful help in defining sacrifice- especially the part about shifting focus from short term to long term. Addicts must make sacrifices to get unstuck in their unhealthy patterns to find a long term freedom and healing.
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